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JoJo Siwais here, and shes ready to shock you.
Are you shocked yet?
The singer(?)
Shes a good girl gone bad, and by bad, we mean low quality.
So lets give her what she wants, shall we?
Is it a flop or is it a flop?
Rebecca Alter:Jason, you are the emissary for Gen Z in this Google Doc.
Do you claim this?
yo tell me what is happening.
And so, shes donning Kiss makeup, humping girls, and performing pop music.
Is it punching down to make fun of this?
JPF:Objectively, yes.
And to answer your question, no way its punching down to make fun of this.
Cardi Bcouldnt afford to bookher for her daughters birthday.
She has her own brandedLunchablesandasbestos-laced makeup!
With all the care and sensitivity ofLarry Plumb.
is aDatelineepisode for another day.
Were here specifically to talk about her new single and music video, Karma.
Lets make like JoJo at the 1:21 mark of the music video anddiveflop in.
This song … Its no good, Jason.
A thumping, uninspired beat, withfaux-edgy lyrics (She said bitch!)
performed with all the conviction of the elementary-age students who used to be her fans.
Then, she immediately says effed around, which is so Christian dad of her.
JPF:The central problem is that its so transparently that a recalculation of abrand.
You know what this reminds me of, Rebecca?
Its not quite cherubic, more Schumeric.
She humps like she dances, and she dances like … Are we being too mean?
I think my fight-or-flight is activated because Im scared!
JPF:We arent being too mean, but I do worry were giving too much credit.
Were you actually uncomfortable with this?
Does it even warrant that?
You wanted good girl gone bad and you went with … And the music doesnt reference that band at all?
If she wanted to shock me, shed actually get messy.
Instead, its the same overly polished, heartless work that shes always done.
The humping is embarrassing, of course, but thats because its sexless.
She treats it the same as any other dance move a motion to be executed.
I wouldnt even say robotic, because fembots?
Speaking of which, those lyrics really are something else.
What are your takeaways from the song itself?
And Im not a monster; I dont need subtlety in pop music.
But the song is not about her doing bad things, its her gesturing at being a bad girl.
RA:Well, Im actually confused on that point.
Even in her bad-girl fantasy, she wontlet herself be the bad guy.
Shes one of those girls who says, My eyes lookso bluewhen I cry.
JPF:Oh, likeKenziefromSurvivorthis season.
At least she has tattoos.
RA:No,exactly.
JPF:Did you notice that JoJo never actually kisses either of the girls in the music video?
To me, thats the whole song.
For all its attempts to shock audiences with queer sexuality, theres no sexuality on display.
Not on the rug!
JPF:Are you offended by this?
And yet, I cant work up the energy to care.
Its the kind of art content that, despite our 1,200 words on the subject, eschews actually think-piecing.
Countless pop stars have done gay shit as a career tool.
It was her identity, her sexuality, and it didnt detract from her rainbow and unicorn merchandise lines.
But also: Shes been kind of cringe every step of the way.
This would break the internet!!!
@JoJo Siwa lets do it!
Loudly and proudly cringe.
JPF:The most shocking thing that happened in my day was the earthquake that just hit.
RA:Like being dry-humped by Mother Earth …
