Interview With the Vampire
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Were particularly poor at keeping our assets alive.
RJ also has this ominous advice: You fear Armand.
You should fear the other one.
Feed Santiagos own ego back to him and smother mutiny with praise.
In retrospect, the buffoon was in the audience, says Armand, referring to himself.
Now we can see its mutinous applications.
And hes in love with a guy going through something.
Louis has gone kind of Dark Louis mode ever since that guy told him hell never be Gordon Parks.
Hes colder, harder.
Hes got a good eye, so hes turned it toward art collecting, bringing home a Jackson Pollock.
Armand doesnt see the vision; he thinks it looks like someone got sick on the canvas.
Watch, says Louis, pairing his love of art and beauty with a ruthless, exploitative knack.
Ill sell it for five times the price in a year.
Thirty times if he keeps drinking and dies.
(Pollock died in 1956 … Louis,what did you know!)
Hell flip the Pollock and reinvest in more art, in stocks and dividends, in a plane.
The first vampire capitalist, the first vampire pilot, Armand jokes, Frenchly.
Louis, looking away, tells him to take off his clothes.
Armand says hes busy and that he has to read Sams latest pages.
Clothes off, face down, in the coffin.
Claudia and Madeleine, thats who.
Madeleine, all things considered, takes it pretty well.
She asks Whats it like to drink blood?
Is it like drinking life itself?
Shes not going through the usual doomed-human-vampire-lover plot beat of disgust and horror.
And its her, a weird white lady I met by happenstance.
Paris istrulythe city of Love!
She wants Armand to turn Madeleine because Louiss got that tainted Lestat blood.
I wouldnt want that for anyone.
Good enough for us, he says.
Its funny to think that theyve got that Lestat brand of crazy in them.
Its also a little sad.
She could not be less intimidated by Armand.
Meanwhile, Claudia and Louis smoke in the parlor like 1950s dads outside a delivery room.
She can also tell that Louis has turned harder and stronger.
I can feel it.
But youve got to give up something to get something.
Hed much rather hyperfixate on community theater.
The swings are, uh, theyre a-swanginnow.
Irish-accented playwright … Samuel Barclay …
Enduring for Guido … Bowler hats … No discernible plot … Oh no… Oh God …
This is absolutely unhinged, uncalled-for, unprecedented TV-writing behavior.
Im gooped and gagged.
We are inRiverdale.This is deeply, fundamentally, a Riverdalian act.
Could they not get the rights toGodot?Did the Beckett estate oppose?
Im pleased as punch.
Plays require events, Sam!
And there are no events in your shitty little play!
Armand is losing control.
He wants Armand to attend, and Armand goes, Are you asking or making me?
In that sub-way, he does, which makes Louis draw back a bit.
Hes just really at sea, yall.
Hes been used to certain things being certain ways for hundreds of years.
He cant just let go and let god.
It seems to be much more intense of an exchange when its a full-on turning.
This doesnt happen every time they feed, right?
Is it only when you make someone a vampire?
Book readers, just advise.
The two leave town and Armand finds Louis later on, his wrist slashed back open.
He says he can feel his fledgling and that he tried to throw the blood back up.
I thought Id feel like I was losing Claudia.
I did not care.
Armand has been banished from the coven and moves in with Louis.
You asked me to do it, Armand tells him.
He doesnt know what to believe.
I failed Louis once in my life.
It wasnt in San Francisco.
Why did I owe you my shame?
Why did I owe you my one act of cowardice?
The series of abhorrent consequences that followed?
I spent the rest of my life trying to make up for it.
Ill never make up for it.
But he forgave me for it.
Are you ready, you filthy animals?
The jury may be seated!
Thank you, ten minutes, says …gaspe!…
Notes on Vamp
This tweet.
Like the Light by Which God Made the World Before He Had Made Light is a great episode title.
She says another word, Ill break her arms and throw her out the window.
The thing that changed it all was Lestat.
Oooooh,whats upyourarsetonight?
[swishes cape].
Is your [cough] companion stuck up there chewing on your inner bits like a hamster?
Santiago should be arrested, and this show should be illegal, actually!
I cant believe my last glass of wine is a Chardonnay.
Madeleine,tu me tues.
Madeleine welcomed my fangs.
The lamb smiling up at the wolf with unsettling passivity.What in the Forks, Washington, is this?
Madeleines sister was called the family idiot because she would eat pinecones.
So, if you wanna kill your lover or fuck your mother, itll have to wait!
Santiago,ca suffit!
Okay, so we learn that Armand and Louis had a house in Sausalito as recently as 1973.
Do you think they still had it in 1976?
Do you think they ever partied withStereophonic?
Do you think I should write this crackfic?
