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Kathleen Madiganis an exception.
Read some excerpts from the interview below or listen to the full episode ofGood Onewherever you get your podcasts.
You are arguably one of the if notthe most successful road comedians ever.
You built your audience on the road exclusively.
One time, Lewis Black was onThe Big Bang Theory.
He played some nutty professor, and he was like, Will you go with me?
I said Lew, Ive been to a sitcom once, and it was so boring.
I dont want to go watch.
I love you, but I dont want to go.
And he was like, c’mon?
And I was like, Fine.
We left my house at four and we got home at 11.
Me and his old assistant drank a bottle of Chardonnay throughout the day.
We plowed through a bottle.
I had memorized the whole script, his parts, the other parts.
Its so slow and tedious.
I just want to tell jokes.
Theres not many of us where thats all we want to do.
When I started comedy, as far as I knew, thats what we all wanted to do.
And Im like,Yeah, but do you know what goes on over there?
Do you really want to be that bored for hours upon hours?
And I was like,Im not an actor.
I dont want to.
I truly want nothing to do with this.
I dont think the agency was saying it like that.
I did it for a couple of people twice.
It was awful, just like I thought, but I did it as a friend.
There are people that are qualified to act.
Its insulting to call a stand-up comedian, who has had no experience, an actor.
I do some other stuff, but Im in charge of it all.
Im my own boss.
Was it hard to maintain that position when you lived in L.A.?
I could never get on the lot.
Id be out there for 20 minutes going, Goddamn it!
My names on a list!, trying not to get mad at the person.
You have to want whats at the other end of that gate.
I auditioned for some commercials.
I did it like three times, and I was like,The money would be great.
Itll take three days out of your life.
But the odds of you getting that commercial is it worth a day of your life?
Do you want to go play golf?
But do I want to go be on a sitcom all this week?
People are like, Oh, so how long has this tour been?
people who dont know, like radio people.
And Im like, 35 years so far!
Im not Black Sabbath; I dont get to take two years off and think of an album.
It starts when youre in theaters.
Lets say I do the Chicago Theatre once every 18 months.
They dont want to put the same poster up.
They dont want the same ad.
Thats whats driving all that, and that makes sense.
But usually its new jokes by the time I get back there.
But tour names for comics?
Im just grasping at anything.
Call itBox Wine and a Tiny Banjo.
I dont want it to be a title where the press could be mean.
The first few times I went around, I did all the touristy things.
And then you start making friends in those towns, and its a chance to see my friends again.
If Im going to go to Columbus, Ohio, Im not going to the zoo.
Ive been there a bunch.
Im going to go see my friends.
Its like going to the gym: Oh, really?
You havent been in three months?
Where did you do that?
That is incomprehensible to me.
Im not saying its wrong.
Im not saying theyre not necessarily funny.
I just dont understand.
I have to be in a rhythm.
And Ron is such a pot monster that his memory isshot.
Hes like, I cant remember anything but ten minutes in my whole life!
Thats all he could work up during COVID.
And I was like, Well, thats enough!
you’re able to be my opener!
He retires, but then just opens for you!Yeah, why not?
Just go out there and do ten minutes!
It doesnt even matter how good it is.
I feel like when I quit, I quit.
Ill do charity stuff or something, but when Im done, Im done.
Most people will hate you because youre gone all the time.
They think its funny in the beginning, and then you miss another baptism and another birthday.
But thats never the life I wanted.
But you cant have stability.
You have to be comfortable with organized chaos.
I do really well in organized chaos because it keeps my attention.
Its activity based versus with my one sister, safety would be her No.
She wants to be organized, safe, nothing unpredictable.
Thats her idea of happiness.
Mine is I like it to be very unpredictable.
Id like it to be chaotic, but I want to know I have control over it.
Ive always been like this, even when I was a kid.
I think parents would say that too.
My side of the room looked like it had been looted!
So I just think Im meant for the road.
You talk about retirement sometimes.
Conceiving retirement is hard for a lot of comedians.
During COVID I was like,If the world was open, this is wonderful.
I had basically turned into my mom and dad but in my 50s, not in my 80s.
But I couldnt quit.
What do you’re gonna wanna quit?I need my financial-adviser brother to say so.
This is what financial advisers do.
I would say this in front of his face theyre a tad bullshit-y.
I go, Pat, how much money do I need to retire comfortably?
And he goes, Well, that depends on your definition ofcomfortably, Kathy.
Does that mean youre playing golf at the fancy course that costs $250?
Or are you willing to slum it and go over to the $50?
I go, No, no, no, Im not talking about all that, Pat!
I cant think of anything.
Sirius radio didnt exist.
Amazon Prime didnt exist.
Its all been a wing it thing.
I think actors could say the ultimate thing is an Academy Award or a SAG Award.
We dont even have any of that.
So its like theJoy of Paintingguy: Theres no problems; theres just happy accidents.
Their sets were very, very different.
Its hard to even picture both in one.
And then Id do the weirder Bigfoot thing for Letterman.
Are there things you hope to be able to get better at at this point?
Is there something about the craft of it that you think about?Nope, and I never have.
I mean, I wish I had better answers.
I really know that I know what Im doing now, so venue size, I dont really care.
I dont even want to do an arena.
The more I talk about things like this, I think I treat this like a job.
Johnny Carson retired and nobody said, Hey, whats wrong with you?
Youd see him occasionally at Wimbledon; theyd always show him.
He loved tennis, so youd see him as a fan.
He did what normal Midwest people do: When theyre 65 years old, they retire.
Ill have to think about that.
Is there anything left?
Now youve made me have to think about it because I havent thought about it!
Is there anything left?
No, because even the places that I want to go I can just go on my own.
I dont need to book a show there.
