Day 15: Food Fights!
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Bravo franchises are like dog breeds: Some are simply more food motivated than others.
And over on TikTok,what ungodly thingsis Bethenny Frankel doing to bagels and cottage cheese?
I already know that contestants on series likeThe Bacheloract the way they do because of too much liquor.
Maybe this years TV drama could be chalked up to too much fine dining.
Even so, would I end up throwing my drinks at friends?Pooping on the floor?
All that would be revealed in a week of giving in to the 2023 Housewives Diet.
and still come out on top, with the internet taking her side?
A wealthy, glamorous, rod-thin legend with the diet of a frat boy!
She isnt ashamed of her drive-thru sodas in Styrofoam cups, and shes shared herfast-food hackswith her adoring fans.
If I could capture just a fraction of Lisas glow, I figure this diet could be life-changing.
So I start the week off eating like Lisa.
This is my first mistake.
If only Lisa knew this is what her name was attached to shed be rolling in her tanning bed.
The Diet Coke eventually comes and is passable.
Lunch is Slim Jims, another Lisa-approved snack.
When I do it, it looks like a depression meal worse than any sad desk salad.
The biting cold outside feels very Utah; the walking 12 minutes home not so much.
Its just too apt.
Angie K. is Mrs. Winterton, Jen Shah is George Russell, and so forth.
On this episode, theyre fighting about soup.
Are they what give Lisa her smokers voice?
I have a go at follow Erins recipe to the letter.
It makes the house smell delicious, allmaillardreaction and onions.
I can imagine Sai being a grouch about the smell of allium in the a.m., though.
Her website has a blog section called Ubah Eats, though, which is honestly pretty funny.
Her review comes in text form alongside a heart emoji and happy-teary-eyes emoji: Sooo yummy!
Thank you for sharing.
I have failed to stir the pot Erin style but have successfully stirred the pot literal style.
One of these an elementary-school classic is churning butter.
It tastes good but not worth the labor cost.
I put it in the office fridge unlabeled and nobody eats it.
I wonder if he would have accepted a pre-workout shakshuka.
She just cantCATCH(!!
I wouldnt be caught dead atbleep, says Brynn.
Its fine if youre trying to impress visitors from Florida, says Brynn, or teenagers, says Sai.
This shall be Catchs legacy.
We head down to the restaurant.
No teenagers, Floridians, or Housewives in sight.
I can imagine Erin sitting in that corner booth, furious, says my friend.
Still, the bleeped-outRHONYcontroversy might have done something for Catch, which is currently operating on a junior-Google-employee-based economy.
The guy manning the store said, Catch you seeeverybodythere!
So who knows if I had entered a time portal or what.
Truly an episode of TV that would kill a small Victorian orphan.
The weird caviar is improved slightly by the trappings of Pringles and labneh, but this snack disappoints.
Takeaway:Dont buy $11 caviar.
My challenge is to try these by the end of my week eating like a Housewife.
All of the Google reviews of the exotic meats were some variation of Dont do it!
I dont even bother finding a place serving scorpions.
This means Ive failed the dare, and I have to tell a truth.
I dont know how people keep up with all of these franchises when theres so muchGilded Ageto watch!
This is rambling and making no sense.
Probably because Im hungry.
Im gonna go find me four KitKats and a pack of Slim Jims.
