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Late-periodFast and Furious movies run on two fundamental principles.
Every villain must eventually turn good, and everyone who is killed must eventually come back.
Some of them should die!
By my count,Fast Xfeatures a whopping 14 actors who make significant contributions to the plot.
As always in theFastuniverse, soap plotting prevails.
Servicing such a large cast mandates thatFast Xbe at least four different movies at the same time.
Vin Diesel is in a faith-based film about mans search for meaning in a sleeveless universe.
John Cena is in a family comedy from the early 2010s, Jason Momoa a SpikeTV remake ofQueer Eye.
Keeping so many balls in the air has clearly exhausted the films writers.
We must ease their labor by killing off 25, perhaps 30 percent of the cast.
But everyone else is fair game.
And its not as if this is a universe where characters dying is implausible!
The opening set piece ofFast Xhas them racing through the streets of Rome trying to defuse a neutron bomb.
I dont know what a neutron bomb is, but it sounds like it could probably kill you.
In the last one, they went into space.
You know how many real people have died trying to get to space?
And thats just NASA astronauts, people who trained their entire lives for the gig.
These characters should spend 45 minutes in every movie attending various funerals.
However, its immediately undone by someone else coming back from the dead, so were at net zero.
This will not do.
More people gotta die!
