House of the Dragon
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
You get a dragon!
You get a dragon!
EVERY BASTARD GETS A DRAGON!
(Or burned alive, of course.
Not all blondes are dragonseeds.)
But I was wrong.
Its a pulpy disaster movie nestled inside a stiff fantasy epic.
Whats more is that the bastard massacre is but one of two stunning dragon showdowns in this weeks episode.
We open with Seasmoke and Syrax staring each other down across a desolate beach and howling into the wind.
Ready to pledge fealty.
Quick to name-drop the Velaryons.
Do you think it’s possible for you to get him to Dragonstone?
But Jace, it turns out, was imagining wingmen a bit moreandless like himself.
Targaryens who already know their place in the world and so are less likely to challenge Jace for his.
If every bastard can fly, why cant any old bastard claim the throne?
Whats more surprising to me is that Jace isnt the only one who objects.
Someone kindly slap that man again.
And Baela looks scandalized, too.
Its no wonder Rhaenyra has started ditching small council to hang with Mysaria instead.
Equally confusing is that everyone in Kings Landing is suddenly besties with Larys Strong.
But Larys isnt a doctor hes just a power-hungry foot fetishist with a completely unrelated physical ailment to Aegons.
Shes a hot young widow with an empty nest and, suddenly, no work commitments.
Shes not even sure shell ever go back to the city, she tells Rickard.
Cold plunging is how Alicent got her groove back.
Allow me to vent a moment.
Thats the sensation I get any timeHouse of the Dragonshifts over to the Harrenhal theater of this war.
This episode only spent about nine minutes in the Riverlands and yet they lasted an eternity.
Did someone tell Matt Smith he needed to stall for time?
He only needed the Blackwoods because the Tullys werent raising an army for him fast enough.
Now that Oscar has joined his men up, Willem was superfluous anyway.
You know that mystifying three seconds or was it three years?
in which Daemon stares down a dark corridor at what maybe is a ram or a mountain goat?
None of us will ever get those three seconds back.
(Venting complete!)
Dear HBO, c’mon let the nextGame of Thronesseries beUlf the Dragonlord!
a buddy sitcom about these guys navigating the challenges of midlife with their signature bonhomie.
But, according to his mother, Hughs a first cousin to Daemon and Viserys.
Dragonblood doesnt run much thicker than that.
We could not have had the glory of the massacre of the bastards without this lack of forethought.
Vermithor rejects the first person to approach him, lighting up a dozen other hopefuls in the process.
Its complete fucking mayhem as the whole gaggle of blondes reconsiders the decisions that brought them to this point.
The only audible dialogue is, Help me!
In some shots, the dragon resembles the T-Rex ofJurassic Parkmunching on the toilet lawyer.
The blacksmith stands his ground and screams into the dragons face and its dragonbond at first sight.
Hughs your daddy now, Vermy.
Theres just not a lot of work out there for dragonkeepers.
Several times throughout the episode, Rhaenyra justifies the havoc shes causing by way of the war shell avoid.
The amassing of powerful weapons of war is itself an act of aggression.
Its not the face of a woman who seeks peace for the greater good.
Its the face of a woman who will relish her enemies complete surrender.
