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Next up is Gianmarco Soresi.
I went to pick it up, but my stepfather said, Leave it.
I did not get you that phone to talk to that man.
So I got in the car.
My dad called again.
My phone pinged from a voice-mail.
Which musical, nobody asked?
Ideally it would beFalsettos,Company, or LaChiusasWild Partyjust to be pretentious.
I know this because Ive been listening to that podcast to fall asleep for years.
That was pretty fucking cool.
Tell us everything about your worst show ever.
(This can involve venue, audience, other acts on the lineup, anything!
and COVID, Climate Change, and Other Lies Democrats Want You to Believe.
You know, the evil company.
I started freaking out, thinking stupid comedian thoughts likeWhat would George Carlin do?
But the laugh was the answer.
So I got onstage and proceeded to bomb my ass off for 23 minutes.
Then, with two minutes left and absolutely no momentum to speak of, I went for it.
It wasnt a boo right away.
First it was just noise a unified, confused groan.
As such, I always attempt to solve the joke on the page.
Embarrassment is, unfortunately, one of the best tools for making better comedy.
So any hurdles Ive cleared in life have been with the assistance of a step stool.
Had I not had residual checks coming in from my three appearances as Reporter No.
Id say the two scariest moments, financially speaking, was when I got kicked off of TikTok.
Isnt that a healthy system?
The second was, again, social-media related.
I doubt I will ever make as much money off social media as I did in those four months.
website to download the TikTok videos without a watermark.
I was riding high, making plans to film specials and sketches, the future was bright.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
(I should mention here that I really wish I could make money off Twitter.
I felt self-conscious writing this one because its all so tedious, unartistic, and boring.
I imagine ones opinion would entirely depend on if that guy liked you or not.
Considering I havent gotten onThe Tonight Shownow, Im fine with the former.
Merch will be the death of me.
Any money Ive made off merch is surely not worth the years of my life lost dealing with it.
Why did I order so many Child of Divorce shirts?
Maybe this is what employers should ask instead of the standard Whats your biggest weakness?
Gather your own audience if you want to farm for clips.
All that being said, comics complaining about comedians doing crowdworkontheir own showscan eat my ass.
Take the stage, set the rules however you see fit, and tell good-enough jokes that theyre followed.
And sometimes that wont be enough!
If someone wants to ruin a comedy show, it cant always be stopped.
But thats not Matt Rifes fault.
One more: We need to bring back bullying.
So Ill articulate it further: We need to cultivate inclusive bullying that holds comedians accountable for shitty work.
And not because everyones nicer now!
Its because we all want to be followed back on Instagram, to be invited on the pod.
I dont give a fuck!
Were they looking out for me and trying to steer me in the right direction?
Booing your co-worker is psychotic behavior.
Sure, its stressful to do stand-up comedy, but you know whats only slightly less stressful?
WHAT IS STAND-UP COMEDY BUT A ONE-MAN SHOW??????
And second, yeah, shes right (whoops!
), but thats who I am.
I stopped acting for a reason.
If you really want me to move less, make the stage smaller.
