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This article originally ran in 2015 and was updated to include Turn the Lights Back On.
Billy Joels stats are staggering.
Most of those charted in the era when you had to sell alotof records to get there, too.
Yet for critics, Joel has always been a problem.
They used to beat him up for his perceived lack of edge.
Robert Christgau called his 1976 albumTurnstilesobnoxious, which it is not.
I am in his camp.
Its certainly not very cool for an arts editor to defend Billy Joel.
Stipulated: This is all one listeners opinion.
You gotta stop somewhere.
His Achilles heel is a recurrent, petulant demand for respect.
Other times, we too often hear classical-music references or an awkward French lesson.
Outrage can bring greatness to art; irritability, not so much.
Too many sound effects.
Ill admit that the brake screech in Movin Out (Anthonys Song) is fun.
Hes best when writing about his own time and his own world.
Let the arguments begin.
Fills up side two of the album, and does no more.
So much is wrong here: boomer-generation narcissism, the tri-state-area-news myopia (hypodermics on the shore?
Why didnt I put it dead last?
The weakest song on an album even Joel doesnt think much of.
in convenient pop-song form.
Pretty bad, and on a pretty good album to boot.
Yes, everyone was doing it in 1976, but that doesnt make it right.
An album ballad, not worth resurrecting.
Sounds like it was cut fromRiver of Dreams.
A song that exemplifies a recurring problem on this list: memorable hook paired with dull verses.
112.Getting Closer,The Bridge(1986)
Repetitive and plodding.
111.Temptation,The Bridge(1986)
A schmaltzy torch song.
110.Cetait Toi (You Were the One),Glass Houses(1980)
Oh man.
(The Beatles Michelle has the same problem, by the way.)
The piano-playing is virtuosic and showy, but the songs ultimately a less interesting Pressure.
Mightve been a lot better with a rewrite.
Inauthentic, and it shows.
105.Tomorrow Is Today,Cold Spring Harbor(1971)
Two minutes into a rather quavery M.O.R.
104.Turn Around,Cold Spring Harbor(1971)
Another first-album ballad, probably not worth reviving.
Lyrics about broken friendships have a little kick, given that Joels had his share.
101.Code of Silence,The Bridge(1986)
Co-written and sung with Cyndi Lauper.
A really solid performance of a not very interesting song.
What would Mama Leone say?
Very typical big-80s sound, with synths and echo that havent aged well.
Could be Steve Winwood; could be the Traveling Wilburys; could be almost anyone.
Might benefit from a remix.
89.A Minor Variation,River of Dreams(1993)
Somewhat similar to All About Soul.
Goes on forever, though.
Hard not to get swept up, even if its kinda bombastic on the album.
Fun song in concert; cheesier at home.
Surely that scene couldve produced a song more interesting than this.
83.Aint No Crime,Piano Man(1973)
Elton-ish record with a lot of backing vocals.
Not terrible, but ultimately not very interesting, either.
82.Easy Money,An Innocent Man(1983)
Unfortunately evokes nothing so much as Rappin Rodney.
An extremely commercial song of the 80s, recorded as a movie theme.
An artifact of its time and place.
Was he on vacation?
80.52nd Street,52nd Street(1978)
Sounds like one of the Ray Charles duets without Ray.
Sax licks are a little cheesy, too.
But it holds its place on the album barely.
Might be fodder for the right cover artist.
78.Youre My Home,Piano Man(1973)
Warm, but also dull.
Possibly saved by the modrenwoman throwaway at the end.
76.The Downeaster Alexa,Storm Front(1989)
One that people argue over.
Would be curious to hear it in a cabaret setting.
But We were sold a bunch of nonsense is a thoughtful lyric in this context.
(Benefits by comparison with Stings Russians, a similar, cheesier record.)
Deserves to be revisited.
Would have been better shorter loses steam as the title repeats.
67.Souvenir,Streetlife Serenade(1974)
Joels shortest recorded song.
Nice little prelude to … something.
Fast piano, banjo, even a jaw harp.
The false ending is a little cheap.
A charming if dated song.
Not a song you want to turn off.
Kind of a shrug, in the end, but a pretty one.
Sweet if not deep; a little out of place on the album, but thats okay.
61.Shameless,Storm Front(1989)
No piano!
But its no embarrassment, either.
59.You May Be Right,Glass Houses(1980)
Good straight-up power pop song.
Theunintentionally hilarious videomay be affecting my judgment a little here.
57.I Go to Extremes,Storm Front(1989)
As catchy as a single ever was.
(Never mind that it was reportedly written about his previous supermodel girlfriend, Elle Macpherson.)
55.Surprises,The Nylon Curtain(1982)
One of several Beatles tributes hes recorded.
Does that minor/major/minor/major step-down chord progression that Paul McCartney made his signature, with added George Martin shimmer.
Not a song many people think of, but I like it.
Points for its complexity and opacity; points off for the blatant I Am the Walrus echo.
Allentown,The Nylon Curtain(1982)
A lot of people think this is a terrible song.
The line they threw an American flag in our face is a clunker, badly misaligned with the music.
But stare down the rest of the lyrics: Theyre plainspoken and pretty okay.
51.All for Leyna,Glass Houses(1980)
A pretty intense, pretty good stalker song.
Electric and well sung, especially on the bridge.
49.Half a Mile Away,52nd Street(1978)
As tight a commercial-radio song as ever recorded.
Sits well on the album, though not super-interesting when taken on its own.
48.Honesty,52nd Street(1978)
Heart-on-sleeve vulnerability.
Hanging around with Bianca Jagger?
Seems out of proportion to the problem.
But play it in a room full of music snobs, and they know every.
Anthemic, a little soft.
Might benefit from a less-dense arrangement with fewer layers.
45.Weekend Song,Streetlife Serenade(1974)
Another one with echoes of Elton John.
Not bad at all.
44.The Entertainer,Streetlife Serenade(1974)
The Piano Man finds success!
And hates his record company, and writes about it.
The synths sound terrible now, and the petulance is creeping in, which does him no favors.
But Gotta have a hit / So they cut it down to 3:05 is clever, for sure.
Could make a case for either; I like it.
The big piano breaks are old-fashioned but not bad.
Another one thats quite a bit better in the live recordings than in the studio.
Irritable Billy makes an appearance, but its still a solid song.
As for the song itself?
Better than you may remember, mostly for the lyrics and the enthusiasm in the vocals.
38.Goodnight Saigon,The Nylon Curtain(1982)
Another argument about authenticity appears.
Alright, its arguably bogus: He didnt actually go fight in Vietnam.
But its a vivid, thoughtful song about guys he clearly knew well.
Can we knock it for portraying secondhand experience?
It feels honest to me.
Wish hed left out the helicopters, though.
Another Beatles tribute, too, this one a gesture to theMagical Mystery Tourera.
Wonder who it was?
Does not fail on the angry-young-man front.
The arrangement could, admittedly, be a little crisper.
Doubly poignant becausehis mother didnt have it so easy, and their relationship was not always smooth (cf.
Laura, a much less affectionate view).
First verse is the best.
Nobody Knows But Me,single (1982)
A kids record, made for a CTW compilation album.
Its about an imaginary friend, and its much better than youd ever guess.
Maybe a little too much production going on here, but a memorable, fun, remember-that-guy-Vinnie-we-used-to-know song.
29.Everybody Loves You Now,Cold Spring Harbor(1971)
Super-catchy, bouncy piano, sneery.
Pretty strong cut for one that few people remember.
Bring it out at your high-school reunion, and watch the couples start to slow-dance.
I just dont hear it I think its pretty but not great.
Ill admit that the live recordings are way better than the studio version.
Ill also give you that the piano performance is among his best.
I still say choose between reality and madness / its either sadness or euphoria is pretentious undergrad stuff.
We may have to agree to disagree here.
Soars nicely in the chorus, especially.
But the big chorus is undeniable its hard not to be swept along when it starts to crest.
22.Stiletto,52nd Street(1978)
Another energetic R&B song.
21.Shes Got a Way,Cold Spring Harbor(1971)
Is it a little gooey?
Is it very pretty?
Its both, and these things can comfortably coexist.
A Great American Songbook song, written 20 years too late to have made it into the canon.
I like this one, probably more than most people do.
It does have about the purest, cleanest production he ever had.
But that whole Hey, what about me?
Why are all those CBGBs acts getting all the love?
On multiple relistenings, I half-expected to find it annoying, but its not.
Has aged better than youd think.
Real-estate novelist is a great, vivid three-word characterization.
(Although I recently had an argument with someone who claimed that line was junk.
I, of course, was correct.)
12.All My Life,single (2007)
The (previous) coda to his singer-songwriter career.
A mature guy, doing the standards thing except its a standard he wrote himself.
No more chip on his shoulder, secure in his talent, out Tony Bennetting Tony Bennett.
Holds up, and you should go listen to it again.
Not profound, but a superior piece of pop craftsmanship.
Not the most ambitious song; simple structure, simple lyrics, and theres nothing bad about it.
9.I Dont Want to Be Alone,Glass Houses(1980)
Howd everyone miss this?
Its an amazingly accurate (and completely unexpected) Elvis Costello pastiche, missing only the organ part.
A greatnext-phaseNew Wave pop song, one that deserves to come out of the trunk.
So he got the future wrong, but something about New Yorkers toughness still applies.
And wait two years for the be-all-end-all live performance of this one, probably at Sun Life Stadium.
Another great vocal performance, on an underrated album that contains several of his best songs.
Clean power, vivid image, supple singing, tight rhythm, well-made, and bulletproof.
Sinatra couldve recorded it; Tony Bennett did; many others will.
