Emily in Paris
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Often, while watchingEmily in Paris, I shout at my TV to no avail.
Despite my cries, everyone stays committed to traditional monogamy.
or Im serious about Alfie!
while treating both men as strangers she just met in the grocery store.
We are all older now even Emily, Ithink?
More often than not, I think of her as the villain of the series.
(The hero, of course, is Sylvie.)
He has made a viral TikTok in which he argues, quite compellingly, that Emily is a monster.
Emily, he alleges, ruined Camilles life and has harmed his family before.
Preach that gospel, Timothee!
We cut to Emily at the cafe with Mindy, insisting, I did nothing wrong here, okay?
A sociopath til the end; you almost have to respect it.
Later in this episode, we will discover it has been three days.
How potentially juicy and fun and FRENCH.
I am American, but I watch a lot of movies.)
What can be said about Mindy in this scene?
Gabriels burn leaves Emily no choice but to unpack all his groceries and cook an omelet for him.
Wasnt she just saying it was time to focus on work?
I recently was on the very funEnemy in Parispodcasttalking about our beloved psychotic show.
Have we EVER seen either of them do this?!
It reallyisalways two dumb bitches telling each other exactlyyyy.
In frankly shocking news to me, Sylvie has seen Timothees TikTok.
I thought Sylvie was above that sort of thing.
I still love her, but Im a little disappointed.
Fortunately, her response is, The less we say about it, the better.
Ill be honest with you: I thought he quit at the end of last season.
I got ahead of myself because I thought we were doing, like, actual plot development.
I wont make that mistake again.
As usual, she is in an absolute shitshow entirely of her own design.
Are we supposed to feel bad for her?
Emily does a beautiful cultural exchange wherein she teaches the French about the concept of the kiss cam.
Lets leave the kids table for a moment, shall we?
Maison Lavaux and Baccarat are collaborating on a perfume by Antoine.
They wanted an English name, but Sylvie wisely deems Crystal Heart too tacky.
She asks what Antoines wife thinks.
Funny you should ask, Sylvie!
Antoines wife thinks its time for a divorce.
Very swoony, and I really appreciated it.
Alfie arrives because he still works for Antoine.
Sylvie is … less interested.
I am with Sylvie.
Antoine seems so desperate.
), but I am not a Eurovision expert, so I defer to those of you who are.
They have to fund this themselves.
Its very we-need-a-talent-show-to-save-the-rec-center in terms of plot devices, but remember what I said three paragraphs ago?
What is this, America?
He is crazy rich, and the bandmates suggest Mindy ask him for the money, but she refuses.
Despite having blocked her number, he calls Emily to beg her to remove it.
Everyone on this show is so stupid.
He cannot possibly think thats how that works?!
She is not in charge of this!
Much like Faye Dunaway inNetwork, Emily Cooper has one love, and it is CONTENT.
Laurent is opening a sexy yacht club in Paris.
That evening, Mindy laments to Emily that the gig economy is a scam.
Emily has such an idiotic idea of salvaging her disaster using AI Memoji-throw in animation?
Whatever, its not even worth getting into it.
Mindy is all, I cant believe you did all this for work.
Does ANYONE actually know Emily?
Have they met her?
Am I alone here, hallucinating this entire series?
Meanwhile, Alfie puts on a three-piece suit to confront Gabriel in his empty restaurant.
In fact, I never really bought them as friends in the first place, did you?
won’t go for me.
Literally, everyone here can break up with whoever they want!
Its not that deep for anyone except Gabriel and Camille, who Im sure can reach some French understanding!
Naturally, Emily did not solve her problem before the French Open began.
Emily is dressed like she is auditioning forThe Music Man.
Mindy finds out the reason her boyfriend has her dressed like shes doing bad First Lady cosplay.
I feel like this all could have been avoided with a normal adult conversation.
Surely, the event has a dress code that Mindy could have been made aware of.
Julien gets that job offer with JVMA.
Sylvie thinks this is all about punishing her.
Her self-absorption at this critical juncture is exactly what Julien needed to hear to feel free to abandon ship.
Over in Emilys court, the whole jankiness of this AMI plan is very grating to me.
Obviously, they wouldnt just swing the camera over to Emily if they hadnt confirmed Alfies attendance!
What kind of amateur deal is this?
But Alfie arrives at the last moment, looking quite sharp.
Alfie reports to Antoine that he is heartbroken.
Imagine being heartbroken over a woman who only loves hashtags.
Antoine decides Heartbreak is a better English name for his perfume, and Sylvie agrees.
God, what a chic sweater situation.
How many Smurfs had to die for her to get that hat?
Gabriel has some news: Nobody has seen Camille since the wedding.
