Emily in Paris
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Emily goes for a run you may recall this is how the series began!
and discovers something thrilling: Paris is full of hot men.
DO NOT LET THIS FILL YOU WITH HOPE.
The answer is no.
Emily is determined to be boring and obvious.
What is that SHAPE?
Emily is bumping into Camille because Camille and Sofia are living with Gabriel.
Emily, hysterically, asks about their sleeping arrangements.
The audacity of this girl!!
She learns that Gabriel has been exiled to his own couch while the girlfriends share his bed.
Gabriel is actually over at Emily and Mindys place because he cant secure a spot in his own shower.
Gabriel pokes his head out of the shower to confirm that Emily is no longer with Alfie.
For the meeting to discuss the evenings plans, Emily is wearing this half-finished exploding-fabric flower-harness thingoverher regular outfit.
Its veryBlake LivelyIt Ends With Uspress tour (derogatory).
The Heartbreak Ball is a masquerade.
Its pretty much what youd expect re: Masks free you up to be someone youre not.
But theyve been free to get together for a while now, and they havent, Camille says.
I write, That Gabriel is a fuckboy and Emily is an idiot.
Nothing we dont already know!!
Alfie, of course, sees things differently and is already getting his hopes up.
This is because he did not read the first paragraph of this recap.
If he did, he would know that we are in the business of managing expectations around here.
Emily is on a mission to ruin every part of French culture that she can touch.
Her latest target: the happy, steady consumption of alcohol.
What if Kir Royale had a nonalcoholic option?
Later, over dinner with Mindy, Emily announces her plans to … not date anyone?
Didnt she literally JUST SAY she was inspired by all the hot guys on her run?!
Which would suggest shes interested in casually dating some of these men shes been overlooking all this time.
IS ANYONE WRITING THIS SHOW ALSO WATCHING THIS SHOW?
Mindy warns her that a dick embargo will have the opposite effect; it will be raining dicks.
Would that this series were so fun, but somehow, I doubt thats where were headed!
ThatLe Mondereporter is being very persistent with Sylvie, who decides to tell Laurent why she doesnt trust Louis.
She believes his investment in Laurents yacht club is intended to buy her silence.
She tells Laurent she doesnt thinkLe Mondehas a story without her.
My anonymity isparamount, she shouts while wearing a bright-red coat over a bright-red dress in broad daylight.
I cant be seen with you anymore.
Luc invites her to live with him.
So, the masquerade ball isalsoa black-and-white ball.
Emily says this situation could only work if they were two different people.
That hat still feels excessive.
I regret to inform you that the matching-outfit situation plays out in the most played-out way imaginable.
But more on that in a minute.
Alfie is here to be handsome in a tux thank you for your service, Alfie!
and claim to be a great dancer.
But, like … are they great at dancing together?
Ideally, wed get somethingmore in the vein of Midge and Lennys dance inThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, no?
Before I can get too caught up in that, Gabriel arrives, also wearing a mask.
), he goes with … David Guetta.
What a timely and relevant pop-culture reference.
Emily decides to be Anna, the math teacher.
Maybe they deserve each other?
But she will need to agonize some more, as is her standard practice.
But Mindy holds firm: The story is true, and, hey, sometimes our dads disappoint us.
Do we buy their chemistry?
So this is basically just a copy-paste-and-barely-paraphrase version of events, made worse and less compelling.
Why am I watching the Shein version of a CW show?
Did they think we wouldnt notice?
Or that we just wouldnt care?
I feel so insulted by this!
Anyway, back to the party: Julien and Sylvie make up.
She also sends the story to Laurent, asking his forgiveness.
Antoine tells her that he saw it, and he thinks she did the right thing.
Sylvie leaves the party with her mask up as the gossip swirls around her.
Gabriel and Emily leave in a carriage.
other time they had sex.
