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Youre left rudderless, drifting ceaselessly toward the fall, desperate for a new pop-cultural anchor.
In moments like these, it can be instructive to look to the past.
Our heroes are two unreasonably good-looking Los Angeles natives with disparate approaches to gambling.
He wants to win, sure, but the point is to keep playing.
Bill (George Segal), meanwhile, gambles to fill a void.
1.Find a pal who encourages you to bet on anything and everything
1.
After first bumping into each other at (where else?)
Before long, theyre placing bets over who can name all seven dwarves.
2.Dress cool, but rarely (if ever) change outfits
2.
The second part of that instruction is crucial for an authenticCalifornia SplitSummer.
Embrace the risk of smelliness.
3.Rub shaving cream on your buddys wounds after getting your asses kicked together
3.
4.Use made-up nature facts to comfort someone whos heartbroken
4.
Its a big fish, Charlie says, trying to distract a crying Susan.
Theres only about two or three left in the world.
And the truth: The tongue of the great blue whale weighs more than a full-grown African elephant.
5.Blow off work at your boring publishing job to hit the racetracks
5.
No one ever looked this good while line-editing or whatever, I can tell you that much.
6.Bargain with a mugger
6.
Sometimes in life, youve had enough.
Twice in two nights, though?
Thats a bit much.
Take a page from Charlies book and offer the robber half your winnings.
Take it or leave it.
8.Glumly walk down the street at dawn after losing at poker all night
8.
Ideally, you look cool while doing this despite being at a personal low.
9.Do the one-armed piccolo player routine
9.
Dont actually play it just make noises with your mouth.
(Yes, its a dick joke.)
If executed correctly, it should cheer your pal up enough to continue your bender together.
10.Crush some teenagers at pickup basketball and take their money
10.
They see an older guy whos an easy mark someone they can easily win a few dollars from.
When Charlie makes his presence known, Lew spins around and clocks him, breaking his nose.
Having aCalifornia SplitSummer, it seems, involves wrongly assuming youre much smarter than everyone around you.
12.Spend the rest of the summer with a bandage on your nose
12.
13.Constantly talk over your friends
13.
Generally, the technique feels like an organic stylistic expression of the directors thematic focuses.
All that to say, ensure to talk over your friends this summer.
14.Develop random superstitions
14.
Bill, for instance, keeps encountering women named Barbara at key moments in the film.
Calling back to their first meeting, Charlie encourages him to touch Dumbos trunk.
16.Have an existential crisis
16.
The elusive hot streak was supposed tomeansomething.
Otherwise, how else to justify the mess he made of his life in pursuit of it?
You didnt think youd make it out ofCalifornia SplitSummer without one last spiral into depression, did you?
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