Below Deck Sailing Yacht
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I have a sick fascination with wedding culture.
To be clear: This obsession doesnt translate into my personal life.
I never want to be a bridesmaid.
I cant fathom spending upwards of a thousand dollars to visit a destination like Scottsdale for a bachelorette party.
Iwill,however, spend upwards of a thousand hours consuming content about it.
The soccer pop-up tent?
The tacky fake flower aisle that Ashley claimed was her version of stepping up?
Sweet Captain Glenn officiating in hisParsifalpolo and bright green sunglasses?
Maybe Im being too harsh.
I have snobbish tendencies!
How dare they do this to Marcos when hes grieving and struggling?
Even Kelsie points out that baking a wedding cake seems a little over-the-top.
In a confessional, Colin remarks he hasnt seen Marcos like this throughout the entire season.
Hes worried about Marcos, and so I am.
Like any good recapper, I googled the bride and groom.
What I discovered, dear readers, might shock you.
Allegra and Gabealready got married!In Sedona, according to Instagram!
I know, I know.
Thats all fine and dandy.
But making Marcos bake this cake?
When theyve already had a wedding?
Captain Glenn says weddings give him a rash, and I agree.
For your pleasure, this is Marcos on moistness: Somehow I have to bake this gluten-free cake moist.
What do I think about this, readers?
Meanwhile, the love bug bites some crew members onboard.
He even says he wanted to fall in love this season!
Borderline erotic, even.
Theyre wrestling and giggling and I never want it to end!
Gary spits his water back in Daisys face and the girls are slurping shit off Marcos stomach.
Marcos and Ashley even jump off the side of the boat with arm floaties.
Its all very sensual.
Captain Glenn comes to the rescue and hands him a box of tissues.
Then, back to bed with his headphones he goes.
They laugh and Scarlett says shes over it.
You go, girl!
