Below Deck Mediterranean
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Too often this week were told how terribly something could go and then its fine.
Im the unwilling participant in a butt workout with all the cheek clenching and unclenching.
The worst thing I saw in this episode was Gaels boyfriends text: Could use an update.
Not to your girlfriend!
The punctuation thanks PERIOD is a clear kiss of death for this relationship.
More on that later.
They cant take the guests back to port in the tender because Iain forgot to charge its battery.
They put a buoy on the chain so it can be retrieved later.
This does not happen.
Its fine, and Im annoyed by the melodramatics, which are far from over.
The anchor issues put the boat three-plus hours behind schedule, so the guests will miss their flights out.
Trishelle is supposed to host people at her house that night.
All the guests are incredibly laid-back about the situation.
They see it as extending the vacation, and Aesha keeps them in decent spirits with plenty of drinks.
The wind is getting worse, threatening their docking ability.
Boy, have we seen this one before.
Joe takes too long to drop a fender, but the docking is ultimately fine.
Its yet another build-up of suspense that goes nowhere.
Sandy can tell Nathan has more experience than Joe and designates him as the bow contact.
Joe cant even tie lines properly.
Any rock-climbing tech bro or 12-year-old skipper at summer camp knows their knots; how doesnt he?!
Sandy says he should reassess: Nate works circles around Joe, whos merely a good talker.
She thinks Iain didnt read their CVs, and its a red flag he didnt check with her first.
Iain is incompetent not only in leadership but also in flirting.
He thinks hes been playing the long game with Ellie and is ready to make his interest known.
Unfortunately for him, Ellie says he has no shot with her.
This feels a bit mean on her part, but also, we understand.
When Iain compliments her lipstick, Ellie makes her feelings clear by turning instead to Joe for outfit advice.
Iain awkwardly butts in: I concur.
As the guests depart, Brittany compliments Sandy on running a tight, perfect ship.
This is obviously untrue, given the delay, but they leave a $25,000 tip nonetheless.
Who wants to look like a bad tipper on TV, right?
Ellie pushes back, saying they dont have time to be overly sensitive about every word.
She insists that they all clearly meaning Bri should work on how we take things.
Aesha can tell the issue isnt fully resolved but will keep an eye on it.
As will all of us.
A team comes to repair the windlass while another emergency-services crew fetches the anchor.
Im disappointed we dont get to see the retrieval.
Later, Zea Marina texts Sandy that the anchor is there for delivery.
The whole process was cheaper than buying a new anchor but still expensive at $40,419.93.
Very exact, those Bravo accountants.
Also a great reminder to never buy a boat.
Nathan and Gael lick salt off each other for tequila shots.
Jono correctly assesses the pair: Its gonna happen.
Back on the boat, Gael worries about being a heartbreaker, but she thinks Nathan is different.
Sure, hes different because hes in front of her now.
The next morning, Gael shows her boyfriends sad texts to Jono.
Jono asks, Do you feel like youre trying?
He could add therapist to the architect-chef title.
However, Gael does think shes trying because shes always on her phone.
Jono gently suggests maybe they need a break.
She doesnt want to disappoint her boyfriend, but its definitely too late for that.
She explains that growing up, she never heard good job, only you could do better.
I guess the analogy is that now shes looking for a better boyfriend?
Whatever the reasoning, she has found that distance does not always make the heart grow fonder.
He wants to be professional and agrees taking a step back is for the best.
He tells Bri he doesnt want to do anything right now, and shes okay with that.
Again, all that lead-up for nothing.
With Joe taking the night off, Ellies lace bodysuit isnt attracting the guy she wanted it to.
Iain turns on the cringe: Theres a lot of people telling you youre beautiful.
She tries to shut down the conversation, saying shes a person of few words.
Iain claims he is too, then continues talking and talking.
He drunkenly confesses hes not connecting with people as much as he wants.
Ellie gives solid advice: Ask people about themselves and listen.
So he asks her … about himself.
That is, if shes interested in him.
She leaves to dance and he follows her, talking the whole time and missing all her social cues.
And Bri is once again missing laundry, specifically Sandys.
The captain says this is incident No.
If this were true, I think wed get to see footage of Ellies rearranging.
I wont be mad if petty rivalry finally motivates Bri to be good at her job.
Its difficult to create suspense over events that happened a year ago.
(HBOsThe Newsroom, anyone?)
Typically, Sandy wouldnt leave in these conditions, but she wants to avoid the smoke rolling in.
The wind dies down enough, and theyre off.
From sea level, it looks like theyre heading straight into the huge yacht.
From above, it looks fine, like getting out of a wide parallel-parking spot.
But theMustiqueis close to the other boats lines, so the episode ends on a to be continued.
They want me to clench my cheeks until next week, but Im no longer falling for it.
