Below Deck Adventure
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
He wasnt wrong, but it was not for the reasons he thought.
No trouble at all!
She means chips like we would mean fries, but Kerry steps right in and says, Theyre Americans.
They like potato chips.
Right out of the bag.
The trouble really starts from the beginning.
One of the guests, Mary Lou, finds a fly in her Champagne.
But her name is Mary Lou.
You should never believe a person named Mary Lou.
I mean, look at the decades-long grift Mary Lou Retton played on the American populace.
And dont even get me started on Mary Lou Who, the Grinchs No.
1 crush object and accomplice.
Thank you, fellow homosexual mustached American, because where I live, Fire Island Rules always apply.
Faye tells him they dont have to wear trunks, bikinis, Speedos, or anything.
All right, sister.
I am officially requesting a charter.
Kerry snaps at him and tells him when hes on the radio to keep things under four words.
Is this really going to help Nathan learn?
Kerry also throws Lewis out of the bridge, which is really the right move.
That night, the guests request a drag party.
This is not a drag party.
This is a Humiliate the Straight Boys on the Crew party.
Kasie puts Lewis (a.k.a.
Lewisa), Seth (a.k.a.
Spicy Seth), and Mike (a.k.a.
Bubblegum, the only good drag name in the bunch) in cheap wigs and even worse makeup.
Here is their first mistake.
Cis women should not do drag-queen makeup because they will make the boys look like women.
There is no drag at all.
There is not even a lip sync.
Things get dramatically worse at dinner when the primarys fiancee gets a hair in her appetizer.
Oriana takes it back to the kitchen.
Everyone around the table says the thing that I always hear immediately after sex: That was quick.
Later in the meal, someone else finds a hair in their dinner.
It was probably Mary Lou, which was originally going to be the name for theM3gandoll.
Once again, Jess says, Well, its not my hair.
Its still your food!
you better do something about it.
Jess blames the servers for always having their hair down, but who knows where it came from?
It could be one of those cheap-ass wigs the boys were wearing.
It could be Jess or the servers or the diners themselves.
It could have been one of Michaels mustache hairs floating on the breeze.
All that matters is that it doesnt happen, and they fix it themselves.
Also, for the next service, Faye and all the girls should wear hairnets as a bit.
The only way to deal with it is to confront it head-on and turn it into a joke.
Oh no no no no no no no.
Regardless of the matter, not telling Kerry makes his head go to the craziest places.
Its called abseiling, and its like mountain climbing but just rappelling down the mountain.
Hey, if there is one thing lesbians are good at, its going down.
Im here all season.
How hard is it to throw together a potato salad, pasta salad, or corn?
Maybe its because she was looking while snacking.
I wouldnt put it past a Mary Lou.
Mary Lou, CPA, should know all about that.
