Bachelor In Paradise
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The tension between art and marketing is a tricky thing.
(I blame the late-September start date this is summer programming!)
Im talking, of course, about Poopgate.
Weve been promised the story line since theBachelor in Paradiseteaser on The Men Tell All.
It is, in fairness, one of the best story lines weve seen on this beach.
A ticking clock, bathroom humor, legitimate romantic stakes its got it all!
The first thing we have to discuss is why the editors are so mean to Sean!
This is the second time hes gotten a snarky little caption directly refuting something hes said about himself.
(This time, its about whether he smells good.)
Was he rude to a camera operator?
Did he insult Jesses haircut?
Does his family have a blood feud going back for generations with the Fleiss clan?
I dont get it!
It reminds me of the snarky narration onToo Hot to Handle, whichIve written about disliking.
I want the show to as well!
I think theyre mostly joking, and I am still very much here for this alliance of pettiness.
All of the ladies are super into Tanner when he arrives.
Hes just kind of generically handsome.
Jess and Kat are feeling it, though, and Tanner ultimately asks Kat out on the date.
She says yes immediately without talking to Brayden about it.
This sends Brayden into a tailspin and solidifies Kats inevitable villain edit.
Never mind that Kylee did the same thing and was only lightly chided.
Even though shes technically bood up with Blake, Tanner was her No.
1 pick, and her bestie, Kat, knew that.
This makes two people who think Kat should have talked to them before she went horseback riding with Tanner.
Yes, obviously, Kat and Tanner get the horse date.
The woman cannot handle anything outside her comfort zone.
I get the feeling she only eats buttered noodles and chicken nuggets.
Cheese quesadillas if shes feeling adventurous.
She screams when the horse walks through a pond and water splashes onto her.
I dont know how she functions in the world!
Sean recaps the couplesagain, including Mercedes and Will, who he left off the list earlier.
Buddy, you cant just say shit like that!
Here comes Tyler Norris to ruin your day!
Tyler reminds us that he left with somebody last year, but it didnt work out.
(He and Brittany left as a couple but broke up before the reunion.
When Rachel sees him, she says, Another one of my ex-boyfriends is joining the beach!
This girl has the most aggressive case of Main Character Syndrome Ive ever seen.
She tells us that she is INTERESTED IN GOING ON A DATE with him.
She broke up with him onhometownsbefore meeting hisfamily!!
Tyler doesnt strike me as a particularly vindictive guy, but I bet that felt good.
Okay, here it is!
We finally get to Sams inability to poop.
I spy a wedding ring; otherwise, I would say get Dr. Kelly a date card stat!
While Sam tries to shit, Kat and Tanner return from their date.
Brayden, whos spent the day pouting, pulls Kat aside to basically make her break up with him.
Kat says that she doesnt see feelings developing further with Brayden.
I dont think thats entirely incorrect, but Im sensing an incel-y undercurrent to this narrative.
so why is Kat getting the most heat for it?
Is it just because Brayden is making the most noise about being hurt?
KYLEE,ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Kylee did the sameexactthing to Will.
How is she now getting away with defending Braydens feelings?
I didnt want to continue with Brayden that is fair and valid, she tells us in a confessional.
Yes, shes allowed to break up with whomever she wants.
Thats true in life and doubly true inParadise.
But his feelings are also fair and valid.
Sheisbeing cold to him.
Finally, were back to the poop countdown.
Were left with a cliffhanger on whether or not Sam manages to poop her guts out.
And that, my friends, is why this is the best show on television.
