At the ski-themed launch party for the podcasters branded enhanced electrolyte beverage.
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Im the worst person to interview because Ive detailed what the inside of my vagina looks like.
Theres a DJ nearby, but shes refusing to let the music drown her out.
I promise I wont spit on you.
Welcome to the chaos!
Tonight is the launch party for Coopers enhanced electrolyte beverage, Unwell Hydration.
Its basically girlie Gatorade.
Im obsessedwith skiing, she says.
(And her own pod, of course, she adds.)
Talking about her year, and the future, she seems pumped.
Lets go, she tells me.
Maybe her mood is fueled by the gently caffeinated water.
Oh, also relatability moment!
I cant believe I got married this year, she says.
Was that this year?
This drink, a partnership with Nestle, is, believe it or not, her first brand deal.
I have turned down multiple, multiple six- and seven-figure deals, she tells me proudly.
I rememberDave Portnoy, her old boss at Barstool Sports, being like, yo do this brand deal.
Id be like, No, I dont want to.
So why put her reputation on the line for this thirst quencher?
Is she just really serious about keeping hydrated?
I hate even talking about gender, she tells me with an eye roll.
Why cant we all be fluid and have a great time?
Then she keeps going.
If youre a hetero man, youre at the top of the totem pole.
Its time to shake shit up.
Its better than water!
she chirps, while insisting that she is definitely not selling out by shilling it.
Its not, she says, a cash grab.
She knows her audience.
Everything in my life has been organic for the Daddy Gang.
The party was notably lacking in actual celebrities.
My team was like, Are you sure?
Influencers, etc., will post the brand.
People shouldnt blindly trust me.
I ask her what it is that she is doing with all this money shes making.
Im obsessed with Amazon.
I buy the dumbest shit, she says.
I just bought my dog five different coats from Amazon so they can have them for winter.
What would she ask Jeff Bezos if he agreed to sit down for the pod?
Jeff, do you want to stock Unwell on Amazon?
Like the water, theinterview with Harriswas perhaps an unusual move for Cooper.
Now shes being taken more seriously than ever.
The day prior, shed been interviewed onstage at the New YorkTimesDealBook Summit.
Who was that person who went before me that really wanted to meet me?
she asks one of several publicists on hand.
It was Jerome Powell, the chair of the Federal Reserve.
Apparently, hes a huge fan.
Unfortunately, I cant make it.
Call Her Daddyis supposed to be an escape from reality, Cooper explains.
Politics, she thinks, is a really, really, clearly, very like divisive topic right now.
Which is confusing, I think, to a lot of people.
She came by herself tonight.
I was such a fucking slut in college.
I just wanted to be her.
I saw her and her little bangs!
I can see her bangs!
Oh my God, I just held her hand.
What they cared about was getting as close to her as humanly possible.
I just want to take a shot with her, says one.
Shes everybodys big sister.
What about the drink itself?
Well, it smells sickly sweet, like a Pop-Tart, but tastes like diluted spa water.
Unwell has 25 calories, four grams of sugar, and 0.32 milligrams of vitamin B6.
Perhaps most importantly, at the open bar, it works pretty well as a mixer.
(There were rumors that Cooper was starting a vodka line, which might have been more on-brand.)
At 11 p.m., its time for me to go.
The party, Im told, is Daddy Gangsters only.
I love you guys so much!
Lets fucking party, Cooper screams from the DJ stand before turning on Murder on the Dancefloor.
I told her I love her, slurs a fan on her way out the door.
And she said, I fucking love you too.
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