Its eerie, but therearecomedians who are worse than this.
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
Two years down the line, Netflix no longer needs to speculate.
I have a drawer full of old cell phones.
Maybe someday Ill need to call someone in the past.
And dont even get me started on Tupperware.
I have so much Tupperware, I could open up my own Tupperware store.
But heres the thing: I can never find the matching lid.
Im convinced that Tupperware is playing some sort of cruel joke on me.
The next thing was looking at joke No.
1 the line Have you ever noticed is this horrific 80s phrase that gave birth to a million comedians.
Thats a really good sentence!
The characters whole catchphrase was Dont get me started!, and the audience would repeat it.
It was so corny.
I can never find the matching lid is like a You always lose a sock in the dryer joke.
You know whats great about getting older?
You dont care as much about what other people think.
Now, Ill walk around in a speedo and not think twice about it.
When I first started, my tags were very weak like this.
As you get older, you start to notice that things just dont work the way they used to.
Like, I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and not gain a pound.
Now, if I even look at a piece of cake, I gain 5 pounds.
And my memory is shot.
I cant even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
Its like my brain has a delete button and its getting a workout.
But the worst part about getting older?
The aches and pains.
I wake up every morning feeling like I got hit by a truck.
And I didnt even do anything the day before.
Its like my body is punishing me for all the things I did when I was younger.
:I dont think Ive ever heard a comedian talk about having a delete button in their brain.
Thats the kind of absurdity I figure would be beyond the computer.
But right before that, theres the premise of I cant even remember what I had for breakfast.
Every old person you run into cant remember what they had for breakfast.
Thats always the example of the thing they cant remember.
Its become an idiom with no meaning.
And the computer should be great at not repeating itself.
Its eerie, but therearecomedians who are worse than this.
A computer cannot replicate Maria Bamford.
On the one hand, Im more experienced and wiser.
On the other hand, I cant remember anything.
I went to the grocery store the other day and forgot why I was there.
So I just walked up and down the aisles until I found something that looked familiar.
Thats how I ended up with a cart full of butternut squash and cat food.
Its like my brain is slowly turning into a random number generator.
It felt more like a very popular club-comic act, which can be great.
You know whats the worst thing about getting older?
You cant do anything without making weird noises.
You stand up, you groan.
You sit down, you grunt.
You bend over, you wheeze.
I feel like Im auditioning for a sound effects library.
Its like watching a sloth trying to pole vault.
:Its like watching a sloth give a shot to pole-vault is a legitimate, excellent punch line.
Its taking a low-energy animal and then having them do something spectacular.
It also usedbutternut squash, which is wonderful comedic phrasing.
Idodo a lot of stuff about energy.
And maybe sound-effects library is a commentary on what my act sounds like to a computer.
Ive noticed that as I get older, I have more and more medical issues to deal with.
Im like a human see-saw.
And the worst part is, the doctor always tells me to exercise more.
Like, do they not understand that Im tired all the time?
If I had the energy to exercise, I wouldnt be here in the first place.
It just needs more development.
And auditioning for a sound-effects library is not a very strong punch line.
Its not an experience that many people have, and its a hard thing to picture.
But, again, I dont care too much about this chatbot.
I think working with the chatbot could maybe be a new art form.
I dont like to feel afraid of technology.
I think its going to be okay.
But the real fun is when you start losing things.
Keys, wallets, your mind… And dont even get me started on trying to keep up with technology.
There are barely punch lines here!
The joke about looking for my eyeglasses and realizing I was wearing them?
Thats a joke so old that its public domain.
Therearecomedians that do bits about aging in this tone, but theyre better than this.
I wouldnt say, Weve got to get you toSNL.
But on the other hand, you stop caring about a lot of stuff that used to bother you.
I would spend hours getting ready for a party, trying to look cool and impress everyone.
But now that Im in my 40s, I dont give a damn.
And even thats a stretch some days.
Plus, at this age, you start to realize that most people dont care about you anyway.
So, you might as well just do you and let the chips fall where they may.
And dont even get me started on the music.
When I was growing up, we had real musicians who played real instruments and wrote real songs.
Now its just a bunch of auto-tuned robots who cant sing or play anything.
And whats with all the abbreviations and acronyms?
Its like the English language is being slowly eroded, one letter at a time.
But hey, at least we still have stand-up comedy.
And Im not just saying that because Im a comedian.
:My wife said, ChatGPT thinks youre a 60-year-old white man.
Maybe it thought the prompt was Write jokes in the style of W. Kamau Bells white father-in-law.
Im the guy who grew up in the hip-hop era whos mad at kids for not using instruments?
That made me feel ChatGPT might be mad at me.
I cant imagine I would talk about anything for that long without talking about race and racism in America.
It steers clear of the topic of race completely.
It tells you whos programming it.
This is how technology has worked in this country since the dawn of technology.
So maybe Im the thing that breaks ChatGPT.
It might become the performance-enhancing drug of a comedy act.
The other day, I got really excited because I found a great deal on some paper towels.
I mean, whats next?
A subscription to Readers Digest?
Oh wait, I already do that.
Atsuko Okatsuka:ChatGPT must think Im really old.
I might give this to her.
I like that the bot knows how bait and switches work.
Getting older is like playing a game of Jenga.
Every year, you remove a block from the bottom and hope the whole thing doesnt come crashing down.
And if it does, well, at least you have Medicare.
I mean, who needs a solid foundation when you have affordable healthcare?
But if I really think about it, I dont understand the metaphor.
Every year, you remove a block from the bottom?
What is that a sign for?
What is that in real life?
It also knows the rule ofCsounds in comedy:Crashingis a funny word; words likecacophonyare funny.
Its interesting that it knew crashing down would get giggles at least.
Its interesting that the wording and references of these jokes are, to me, very white American.
Things like AARP,Readers Digest, andJengaare things my immigrant family didnt really grow up reading or playing.
I had to find out what these things are on my own.
What theyve done with these three jokes is pretty general.
You really dont get to know the person.
They say age is just a number, but sometimes that number feels like a prison sentence.
Like when I turned 40, I felt like my body was betraying me.
I started getting hot flashes, my knees started creaking, and my memory started failing me.
I dont think I would get ideas from it because right now, theyre not that good.
And I dont mean in a good way.
Or, Is that a wrinkle or a scar from where my mom hit me with a wooden spoon?
Its like my body is betraying me, turning into this weird amalgamation of my mom and dad.
And then I start to wonder, am I going to start acting like them too?
Will I start telling the same corny jokes and wearing socks with sandals?
Its like Im living in some sort of genetic horror movie.
Pete Holmes:I would classify a lot of these jokes as passable for conversation.
But Im not pooh-poohing them; Im blown away.
is the closest thing Ive seen to it saying something I could do onstage that would work.
Thats not genetics; its abstracting it.
At this stage, I would say its writing what I would consider very standard open-mic-level comedy.
I think Jim Gaffigan had a joke about socks and sandals in 2003?
Im starting to realize that getting old isnt just about wrinkles and gray hair.
Its also about becoming increasingly uncool.
Like, I used to think I was pretty hip, you know?
I could keep up with the latest trends, I knew all the hot new bands.
But now, I listen to the radio and I have no idea what any of the songs are.
I go to a bar and I feel like Im in a different country.
And dont even get me started on TikTok.
I tried to make a video once and it just looked like I was having a seizure.
Getting older is like being in a slow-motion car crash.
Slow down, grandpa.
Thats part of our job.
But I dont want to be the guy thats like, This isnt impressive.
It gave it a funnier title with better alliteration.
I didnt change it, because honestly I liked the more cumbersome title I had.
At what point is human error part of the charm of human ideas?
I dont really like scientific-izing comedy, but I agree with the theory that comedy is a benign violation.
Thats the beginning of it.
We like imperfect comedy.
We like to see the struggle and the foibles of it.
We want jokes that pass the Im not a robot test.
Vir Das:Calling these jokes is quite a compliment.
When I was a kid, I thought adults had it all figured out.
But now that Im an adult, I realize were all just faking it.
We dont know what were doing any more than a baby knows how to drive a car.
And as we age, we just get better at pretending.
Now, if I stay up past 10 PM, I feel like Ive been hit by a truck.
And dont even get me started on trying to keep up with the latest trends.
I dont even know what TikTok is, but Im pretty sure its some kind of witchcraft.
:I think ChatGPT is American because it knows very little about me.
You gave it the wordaging, so it went down a rabbit hole with that.
Nobody my age has arthritis and high blood pressure.
People are on two sides of this issue.
One group of people feels like this is the future and its going to take over everything.
The other feels like we need to shut it down and that this is the beginning of ourTerminatorphase.
I dont like either side.
I never thought it would get into anything truly creative.
The one thing I am using AI for is to design posters.
They come out scary and creepy as hell.
For now, Im happy to keep it at arms distance.
When the robots come for my house, we can have this conversation then.
