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Ancient Greece had nine muses, but America only needs one: sweet lady jazz.
Jazz is about spontaneity, a joyful interplay with your fellow musicians in service of the jam.
Its a vibe, its a conversation.
An interaction, an experience.
Its flow, baby.
Its so shiny, for one.
But its also deeply sexual.
The sax is phallic, with the bell always positioned at crotch level, waggling in the audiences face.
Lou Bega may have shouted out the trumpet, but cinema loves a sax.
Nothing says people are fixing to bone down quite like a sultry sax solo.
And when the sax man is on the screen?
Hoo, baby, you are cookin.
Behold: the ultimate list of hard-core sax scenes, ranked by horn-iness.
They say jazz is all about the notes you dont play.
The toots you dont hoot, the honks you dont squonk.
But this ranking is based entirely on a more is more principle.
Its about clocked horn time, and how prominent the player is to the story.
It exists solely so these two men could meet their musical heroes and give them opportunities to shine.
To give up on the sax to be a dishwasher in your friends diner?
Still, the scene wouldnt work as well without his sax playing and Silent Bob energy.
19.Return of the Jedi, Jedi Rocks
Space saxophones count, fight me.
Great read of fuckboy musicians, though.
Available to stream onMax.
When faced with these challenges, you could settle.
Or you might chase your dreams of being a really cool sax player in the big city.
Rob Lowe chooses the latter.
Is it the right choice?
Lowe certainly looks cool (in a deeply 80s way) punching dudes and ripping fat sax solos.
Maybe thatisa better life than settling down with your college gf.
16.Soul, Meeting Dorothea
Look how shiny that CGI sax is!
Its a good corrective after the studiosRatatouillesandIncrediblesand whatnot, which make work-life balance out to be a sin.
But it does mean Dorotheas sax skills take a backseat to Joes personal growth.
Its stunning musicianship on Armstrongs part, and competent fake-instrument playing by Newman and Poitier.
But it elicited a feeling, and thats the goal of art, is it not?
Harry was kicked out of Tony!
Tone!s Faces!
Watching the rats dance in perfect time to Zoots sax is what Muppetting is all about.
Or, at least, too much for the girlfriend he starts the film with.
His endgame partner, on the other hand, likes how thick he lays it on.
The synthetic fakeness of the sax only adds to the surreality.
Its so fucking extra, but thats just how Monique likes it.
Wont someone think of how it will affect the music?
But also, you cant blame all these women throwing themselves at the Bleek Quintet.
Have men looked cooler than Denzel Washington and Wesley Snipes inMo Better Blues?Its doubtful.
One of the central conflicts inMo Better Bluesis saxophonist Shadow Henderson (Snipes) hogging stage time with solos.
This scene needs to sell the main beef of the film, and it fucking delivers.
When the bandleader can step out and have a quick kiki with his manager?
Thats a long-ass solo.
8.The Talented Mr. Ripley, Tu Vuo Fa LAmericano
Look at Jude Laws dumb little hat!
That says everything, doesnt it?
Big LOL on both fronts.
What a perfect population for an intrepid sociopath to hide among!
No one, thats who.
But it did happen, and it did have a soprano-sax solo in it.
As Emma Stone said inLa La Land,a lot of people completely conflate jazz with smooth jazz.
Some jazz is rough, some jazz is cool, some jazz is hot.
Life can be plenty rough, so whats wrong with smoothing it out a little?
6.The Conversation, Ending
Just a guy blowin his horn in the shattered ruins of his life.
He has sweat clean through his nerdy button-down (who keeps their dress shirt on once theyre home?
All he does is play along with previously recorded jazz songs, never seeking the fellowship of other musicians.
And once hes completely wrecked his life, all thats left is to play along with the background music.
Which only he can hear.
5.The Little Mermaid, Under the Sea
Never forget: The fluke is thee Duke of Soul.
Butnot in live-action just one of the many sins committed by the2023 remake.
Unspeakably ugly Flounder, I could forgive.
Rapping Scuttle, its whatever.
But no fluke, who is the Duke of Soul?
5 and not some position above No.
Just look at him; what a submarine dirtbag!
But he also made disturbingly violent sex movies.
The rest of the movie is, frankly, kinda gross.
This sax scene is rated NC-17, not comfortable to really consider for longer than 17 minutes.
3.The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hot Patootie
The sax makes anyone look cooler.
Case in point: Meat Loaf, sporting a massive head wound.
With a sax jauntily hanging from his neck, it almost makes sense.
Eddie has to be the sexual rival to Dr. Frank-n-Furter, played by Tim Curry at his prime.
The only way to fight Tim The Confuser Curry is with the power of the saxophone.
A few mournful, a few whimsical.
But Fred Madison (Bill Pullman) inLost Highwayis the scariest sax player on this list.
ComposerAngelo Badalamentipops off with this composition, throwing sax in our face long after the rhythm section is done.
Of any on this list, this sax scene is the most gratuitous.
1.The Lost Boys, I Still Believe
Was it ever in question that this would be No.
This is the most important cinematic sax performance ever recorded.
And the most inexplicable.
The one to birth Sergio.
Did you know thatLost BoysdirectorJoel Schumachersaid hes had 20,000 to 30,000 sexual partners in his lifetime?
Only someone with that sexual resume could come up with the I Still Believe scene.
Something sensual, violent, and borderline incomprehensible.
He gave his all for this moment, and I still believe its the peak of cinema.
